SMOKED BY THE QUEENS

Enough Already! UNCLE! A loss to the town when abbreviated is SACK! Oh boy. Yippe! Abdur Rahim is in the playoffs after being a loser in Vancouver, eh! Oh, and Atlanta. Er...where I live, Portland. And now Sac. Uncanny ability to miss playoffs, though he always seemed to join all of these teams at they're low points and he was always the perfect last piece of a bad chemistry puzzle. Softer n caramel! But for real, I'm glad for him. One round, enjoy em! He and teammate Kenny Thomas have this running beef and I hear they were yappin' at one another. Who cares.

 In other news, Bob Hill will be back as coach of the Sonics next year...Whooo Peeeee! Oh ecstasy. We are on a roll of less than mediocre. Not Hill, the current losing trend. Wait...I mean MORE of a losing trend of an already bad losing trend. Yeppers, that one. Whatever happened to that other I-5 rivalry, the storied tradition of the Vancouver Grizzlies/Sonics series of the 90's. The mighty Big Country Reeves who when in motion on the court, looked like that old Bigfoot clip you always see, except over and over and the Bigfoot was better looking. And the mighty Abdur Rahim and his mighty finger rolls! OUCH! I'll quit dissin'. Least Sac is going to the dance.

The city, county, state, and freakin' country! Uncle to Bubba Sparxx! Don't know if Big Country Krispy Kreme is playing anymore. But I swear I just saw him in that movie "The Hills Have Eyes". Trippy.

A WIN NONETHELESS

No need to sweat the details. Why delve into it. Our season was over long ago. We won and at least I'm glad of that. I know some people hate it when a fan says something about they're fave team and use the word "we". I don't. I'm in reality and I know I'm not on the team and all that. But if you have passion for your team, win or lose, and stick with it, you have the right. Fans as a collective are a big fat "WE", so shut the hell up already. I still care but like I said, reality. The real situation is 2006 is history and we floundered. But I see potential for better and hope for the playoffs next season. Wilcox is a nice fit for next year. The dreaded Kings are next up but to be honest, I'm not that up for it. I'm sliding into baseball season, so go M's and Padres. I live in Portland so I watch a little triple AAA ball and I know nobody gives a rats about that, but I do a little. So go Portland Beavers!

Portland does have hope of another world title to go along with the Bill Walton led Trailblazers title of 1977. As obscure as you may think it is, it may be in pro indoor lacrosse. I was at the Rose Garden Friday night as the Portland LumberJax defeated the other expansion team in the NLL, the hapless Edmonton Rush 11-7. I was back on Saturday for a Blazer game. Not far for me to travel. The LumberJax boarded a coach flight at 5am for Minnesota the next morning and played in Minneapolis at 7pm, and won! They beat the Swarm 13-8. Portland had already clinched a playoff spot going into the game but by winning this they achieved a 1st in lacrosse history. The 1st ever expansion team to clinch a division title in the league's 20 years of existence. Congrats Jax! This game rocks and you should give it a chance. I think it will be huge soon. These guys make little $$ and whine alot less than most pro athletes. And like hockey used to be, these dudes are all from fricken Canada! Ontario and BC with a sprinkle of the United States. Yours truly will be at the 1st ever pro lacrosse playoff game in Portland history next week as we host the Arizona Sting at the Rose Garden.

 

VS

LET'S GO JAX!

CLIPPED AGAIN

  I finally got around to Friday's game with the playoff bound, and best team in LA at the moment...the LA Clippers. I like the sound of that, cuz I HATE the Lakahs! And smuggy Kobe. We lost again, and at home, but what else is new? We have a rematch Easter Sunday with the Clips, so we'll see what happens, as if it matters now. I have been attending sports events here in Portland and working so I have been sooooo busy.

  Last night I attended the Blazers/Warriors game at the Rose Garden and it was a blast. It was an event called "Bike to the Blazers". We all met at a pub, tilted a few, and 40 of us took off for the game via the Eastbank Esplanade, a beautiful walk/bike/skate path that runs along the Willamette River downtown. We had one casulty, a buddy of mine fell and Murphy's Law, fell on his digital camera and cracked the lens. Oh, it was a $700 camera and he forgot to mention it wasn't his, he borrowed it for the game. He didn't have as good a time as the rest of us after that! The Blazers fought, and lost, again. Fighting for #1, the #1 draft pick for being the worst. I watched alot of the game through high quality binoculars and that was cool. Yup, we was not in the front row as Bob Ueuker used to say. It must be frustrating for Blazer fans. Darius is so frickin' lazy. But it seems when he wants to, he can make spectacular offensive plays...hopefully soon for someone else. Through the binoculars his facial expressions just say lackadaisical. Like he is yearning for a bong hit and the strip club after the game more than playing. What a waste of talent. The Blazers lost and I will so treasure my Zach Randolph bobble head forever, then again, maybe not.

 

STUNG!

We lose again! Its almost over!

Spurred by San Antone

WE LOST!

4 Straight. Sun Down

  Ray was the dagger, again. Earl Watson was the assist, kicking it to Ray from underneath the basket. Ray hits a game winner...ho hum...again. I'm liking this. And winning in the clutch, oh yeah. Wilcox in the mix again 23 pts 12 rebounds. He is consistent.  Oh, Allen had 30 or something like that.

It looked all but over after a Steve Nash swish from 3 point land with 6:01 left off a Rashard Lewis miss. Then we sprang to life with concurrent 3's from Allen and Lewis. Back in it. Another great victory although in perpetual garbage time season. Spurs next.

Earl in a familiar position, beaten defenders and a lay up. Earl and Chris W. keep rockin' the Sonic free world.

Reggae Sun Splash

Sonic legend Dennis Johnson when he was a Sun. Many epic battles have been fought by these Western Time Zone rivals. I've seen the Sonic/Suns in the 70's in Phoenix. And the Western Conference Finals in 1993 I believe. We were beaten that night and eventually lost the series and watched Phoenix go on to lose to Chicago...right? The Key was slammin' that night, we all had "terrible towels" that said, "Not In Our House!" Well, Barkley did us in, he was amazing. I bought that playoff ticket for $7, standing room. One of the best games I ever went to. Nothing beats playoff intensity and a rivalry to boot. Lets beat a potential Pacific Division champion and build for next year.

Remember the "poor man's" Micheal Jordan, Larry Nance? He was an aerial guy. Think he might have won a slam dunk deal in the 80's.

The legend...the nickname says it all...DOWNTOWN! Lookout Suns, here we come...hopefully revitalized.

Local Portland Alterna Sports Scores

  The Portland LumberJax beat the San Jose Stealth 9-6 in San Jose.

  The WHL's Portland WinterHawks beat the invincible Vancouver Giants in Vancouver 1-0.

  The Triple AAA Portland Beavers beat the Sacramento River Cats 11-6 to start out of the PCL gate at home 2-0.

  Oh, the "major" league team the Blazers got whupped by Seattle.

This is Portland...sportscentralusa!

SEATTLE SLEWER of TREYZ

Who is your daddy? Ray Allen. He is #2 in all time 3 pointers made, passing another longtime Sonic Dale Ellis. And I would be willing to bet Dale hit most of his 3's in Seattle. And most of his memorables. Ray is pure, he is powdered sugar...re...fined...smooth. Earl Watson is on it too. This unit could become something next year I feel with a move or two.

  Oh, the courtside tix fell through wouldn't you know it! From courtside to the AM radio...oh well, the falafel biz is kickin'! What to say? The season is almost over and we are playing for pride and something to build on for '07.

Rocket Man Sees 20/20

Chris Wilcox, Sonica Suprema w/guacamole and sour cream! The 1st Sonic double double in more than a decade. 26 pts and 24 rebs! The last Sonic to do it was baby factory Sean Kemp in '95.  I heard he has lost a lot of weight (Kemp), is 36 yrs old and is making a comeback. You can have him. Wilcox has been the real deal. We finally got one on the Rockets in '06.  I just got a huge write up in the paper here in Portland and the weather has broken at the same time and biz is off the hook so again the real world cuts into my blogging. I will be at the game tomorrow and because of Portland and Seattle's dismal seasons I may be courtside, yep...on the floor! $300 seats for $40! Well, it is the Blazers who were passed by the Bobcats and now reside in nex to worstville. I will do my NWest Jack Nicholson imitation...its all about the shades baybee. So the 3 people who watch this game on the NBA Season Pass, I say...look fer me. Should I streak? HA?

POPEYE SAYS TO PORTLAND, "THIS IS EMBARASKIN"!"

I'm giving props to the real Blazer, even though my Sonics crushed Portland. The "Thrilla" Joel Pryzbilla blocked nine shots tying an all time Blazer record. But whoa, this was a crusher. No chance no way.

Another Portland prop photo on my Sonic site, but we know where Martell is from. I like the kid's faces. They seem content. Wonder when Allen Iverson last took a photo like this?

NLL Lacrosse Rules, Sonics Blowing out Blazers At The 1/2 67-35!

Iam back from my lacrosse experience and I must say, it rawked! Very heavy metal, the tunes blare during play and enhance the sport I feel. Cute young fan base, some dressed in red woolen lumberjack shirts w/knit beanie and clown sized Caterpillar work boots. Oh...and with fake red beards like the LumberJax aptly named mascot, Jaxon. Think the Purdue Boilermaker or the Demon Deacon of Wake Forest mascot, except a lumberjack motif going on. Like this:

  It is an exciting sport and alot of fun to watch. Aggro play and some tense fights took place. The rules are easy to follow, like a hockey indoor soccer rule mix. Much more lively than soccer. My buddy Marko and me thought it was over in the 1st quarter when the Jax were down 5-0. Marko went to the facilities and when he returned like 4 mins later it was 5-4 and we had one goal denied cause the shot was taken within the crease. It moves fast and your never out of a game I guess. We are hooked, and will attend the last home game and the playoffs. And I was stone sober baybee, freakin' amazing. I wasn't even gonna go, but we decided to do it and I'm a Jax fan now. Go ahead laugh if you will. I highly recommend it, bring the kids, they seem to love it and players are easily accessible after the game. Cool stuff.

  Native Americans and Aztecs had similar games played to the death that were primitive lacrosse. The primitive remains in the modern game. Primal hacks to wrists and limbs to pry loose a ball, the effort is amazing. Just to gain possession. I commented to my friend how I felt like I was in the arena in the old Kurt Russell movie "Escape From New York" when the players would beat they're sticks on the boards to motivate teammates on the field. Like I said...PRIMAL. Must say I appreciated some hotties that were in attendance too. I wanted the dance team to paint my face, but at 45 years old I resisted temptation as the average clientele was around 8 to 12 yrs old! 

  Many plays were spectacular but one stood out. A Jax player caught the EDM goalie napping out of position and launched a shot from long range, it seems not many goals are scored from out here but today there was. The goalie jumped backward and flailed in a desperate snow turf angel motion as the shot rolled into the net behind him. I could go on and on, but check a game yourself. I give it ***** stars in the "new pro sport I discovered today" category. The game was capped with a brawl in which a Portland player laid to waste a hapless EDM player who had cheap shotted one of ours out of frustration like a little biatch with time running out. Bravo for supporting your own Jax troops Mr. Marshall. The Rush were flatlined by an awesome 10-0 run by Portland. See you at the Rose Garden. Get playoff fevah baybee.

HAMMER DOWN! WE WERE AC/DC and Edmonton was Loverboy. New Jax City.

 

Good guys wear black, sometimes. As long as your in the Rose City. As playoff time approaches, and its a done deal think of it this way. There is a Portland team with a chance, and they seem not to be spoiled me me meez. I think I may make more $$ than a lacrosse player, uh...well. Maybe not. But I can relate to someone who appreciates that you care. And vice versa. Another funny, most of these boys are outta BC. I lived in Blaine, WA for a few years and loved it.  Visited Van and Vic often.. Kicked with Luke Ridnour in Blaine once. Whoo pee. I'm glad we got a chance at a title at something in this town. I'm the falafel king yes, but I wish I coulda smacked down someone with a lacrosse stick to get there. I have to be mellower and use kind words and quality ingredients. Rock on Jax...you made 2 new fans today.

Marko and me at the game. Photograph courtesy of the Nat'l Guard. Support your troops! Give them a plan!

Jax & Blazers/Sonics Day

Seems I'm headed to the Rose Garden to take in my 1st proffessional lacrosse game. I will let you know how I liked it. Looks brutal. Its the Portland LumberJax VS The Edmonton Rush. It has playoff implications for the Portland team. The Rush are miserable. 1-13 or something. But I hear in lacrosse anything can happen. Then its off to Claudia's for the Blazers/Sonics clash, or was that chitty chitty bang bang? Lates...

Blazin' Down The 5

VS 

 Seattle hosts I-5 rival Portland Sunday 6 pm. This one has lost alot of lustre this year. Both teams are weak. Portland is competing with the Knicks and gasp...the Bobcats for worst record in the NBA. Think I will watch this one on TV at the sports bar. Made alot of $$ this week. So I'll chill and root for the home team, the Sonics from my barstool in Portland. It used to be packed for Blazer games...now there is nobody. Kinda sad for a town rich in basketball tradition and hungry for a winner and being served a heaping helping of crap by Blazer management the last 3 yrs, even the loyalists are drying up. They WAY overannounce attendance. I will be in the Rose Garden for 2 games on the remaining schedule as this season drags on ploddingly for both teams. Next Friday April 7nth I will watch the Sonics here and on Tax Day, the 15nth I have tickets for the Blazers/Warriors game, Zach Randolph bobble head night, I'm soooooo excited...not really. But I always have fun at a game regardless. The Warriors game is a bicycle pub crawl to the Rose Garden from the SEast part of town. Should be fun and we will all have helmets and lights! Seattle should still easily take care of Portland but it is a fierce rivalry so ya never know. I'm a falafel pimp this week, mo' money, mo' problems...I hear ya Biggie! Big Ups to SE Portland, 7 corners yo...representin' with the "Falafel Mafia". OUT.

 

Lakers Dominate

Wilcox in a familiar holding pattern, above the rim, slamming down 2 of his 16 pts. I'm super busy with the falafel world today. Sorry for the briefness.